Off the Top Rope…

We are diverse bunch of gals here at The Fandom Menace, which allows us to bitch and rant about every corner of pop-culture. That said, let’s dive into the world of professional wrestling. More specifically, the WWE draft results from Monday Night Raw.

Love it or hate it, the WWE Draft has been a staple of the company since 2002. It was designed to shake up the very foundation of the brands, introduce new rivalries, and add viewers to Smackdown (let’s be honest). Last nights results were no exception. The WWE Universe was shocked with the fact that John Cena was drafted to Smackdown. For those of you who don’t know, Cena has been the poster-boy of the company for years. He is our generations Hulk Hogan (in the sense that kids love him, and he is a mediocre wrestler). Of course, any true wrestling fan was ecstatic with this news, seeing as RAW is the flagship show that many true wrestling fans watch. And in addition, Cena is hated by most every true wrestling fan. So victory! No more boring Cena storylines on RAW! …or so we thought.

Once again, the writers have pulled a fast one on us (that the majority of us saw coming) by RE-drafting Cena back to RAW at the end of last nights show. Of course they are going to pull a stunt like that. It’s something that they have never tried before. More importantly, Vince McMahon is terrified of the concept of putting his most popular wrestler on SyFy! McMahon continues to show disappointment towards Smackdown’s ratings, but refuses to take the necessary steps to make those ratings go up. Sure, they decided to move Randy Orton to Friday nights, but as much as I love the man, Orton isn’t going to give the show the huge boost in ratings that McMahon is looking for.

As I see it, RAW’s viewers aren’t going anywhere. They can spend an entire show devoted to CM Punk clipping his toenails and the show would still be on top. Smackdown, on the other hand, needs the superstars. After losing Edge to premature retirement, Smackdown is without it’s main event guy. Smackdown needs a John Cena, and considering the results of last nights draft, they got anything but John Cena. Putting well established superstars like Cena and Orton on Smackdown would make Smackdown’s ratings go through the roof, and help further develop superstars like The Miz and CM Punk to legendary status.

I would be excited to see what they do with these new changes if I wasn’t so afraid that they are going to fall into the same boring stories. Cena is going to keep feuding with The Miz (that man can carry RAW all by himself), CM Punk and The New Nexus are going to start feuding with somebody but it won’t matter (unless it’s Stone Cold Steve Austin), Orton is going to kick everybody’s ass on Smackdown which won’t be interesting because he is one of the only interesting people on that show now… the list goes on.

If they were smart, they would allow Christian the chance to take over the void left by Edge’s departure, and create one of the biggest feuds in WWE history with a reformed Legacy. No heels, no faces, no dirty back-handed behavior, just straight war.

If they were smart, they would re-institute the Hardcore Belt. 24 hours a day the belt must be defended. That shit was fun to watch.

If they were smart, they would take the tag team division more seriously. The reason why it sucks now is because they continue to shove two superstars together and toss the belts at them. Most recently it was The Big Show and Kane… really? Two big oafs chokeslaming everybody? What a sad thing this division has become. You know McMahon doesn’t care when he gives the belts to Santino and Kozlov.

I can go on forever with this shit, but I’ll spare you for now.

Give people a reason to tune in on Friday nights. I just hope they know what they’re doing, because we all can see what they’re doing from a mile away and it’s getting old.

And for fuck’s sake, give Sin Cara a chance!

Hey WWE, if you need a GOOD writer, you know where to find me.


~ by Brandon Gnuschke on April 26, 2011.

One Response to “Off the Top Rope…”

  1. Fuck John Cena. I don’t even watch WWE I can tell that guy is a tool. He reminds me of every raised truck broseph in Fontucky. He can’t wear a hat right and throws up fake gang signs like my 14 year old niece.

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