||Off the Top Rope|| TNA Impact Wrestling Recap 6-7-12

MATT HERE!!!  It was another exciting week in the WWE……so what the hell is going on with TNA???  Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you.  Let’s recap just what happened this past Thursday Night on Impact Wrestling!!!  I’m sure it’s far better than what any other wrestling company is doing………yeah………

The night kicked off with a little recap from last week of Christopher Daniels and Kazarian‘s inside story on A.J. Styles and Dixie Carter‘s little…thing???  I don’t know what to call the nonsense.  Dixie is standing in the middle of the ring with many a boo from real wrestling fans that don’t give two shits about what is going on and a few cheers for her from random people.  I know I’m not the only one that is sick of this storyline.  They are ruining and wasting a brilliant performer in the ring in A.J. Styles with this stupid idea.  Who the hell came up with this?

Daniels and Kazarian’s music hits and they come down to the ring to confront Dixie.  Some useless dialogue occurs which ends in Daniels knocking down Dixie.  A.J. comes running down to her rescue and Kazarian and Daniels escape.  Dixie’s husband shows up too and he punches A.J and leaves.  A.J consoles a crying Dixie in the ring and they leave together.  She pushes the camera away as A.J. covers his face.  Eventually someone is gonna wrestle right???  Am I out in left field here???  WWE storylines may be dumb sometimes, but I don’t think any are THIS stupid.

For a company that prides itself on the notion of WRESTLING MATTERS HERE, can someone tell me what this has to do with wrestling???

Samoa Joe approaches Austin Aries backstage and tells him he hopes the water isn’t a veiled disrespect toward him.  Aries says he respects him and if he was going to disrespect him then he would know it.  He gives Joe his water bottle and says he has a match.  FINALLY A MATCH!!!

X Division Champion Austin Aries vs. Crimson

First match of the evening, unfortunately it involves Crimson.  But the HUGE PLUS is the amazing X Division Champion Austin Aries.  That man is incredible.

Crimson is billed as “The Undefeated.”  Aries feels him out with kicks to the leg but Crimson picks him up and drives him into the corner.  He whips Aries in the corner but Aries counters and continues with kicks and elbows in the corner.  Aries hits a corkscrew slingshot off the ropes for 2.  Aries tries a springboard moonsault but Crimson gets hits knees up.

Dropkick performed to perfection!!! Austin Aries would kill in the WWE!!!

Crimson lifts him for “Red Sky” but Aries counters it into a head scissors hurricanrana.  Aries hits a running dropkick in the corner.  Aries set him up for the “Brainbuster” but Crimson counters.  Aries hits a suicide dive to the outside.  Aries goes up top but Samoa Joe comes down and sweeps his feet and he falls off.  Joe has the water bottle in his hands.  Crimson makes the cover for the win.

winner by pinfall: Crimson

Crimson gets on the mic and starts talking about how he’s been undefeated longer than Goldberg (and if you listen closely, no one is paying attention to anything that he is saying…….funny stuff).  He issues an open challenge to anybody for Slammiversary X.

This guy’s no Funkasaurus!!!

Brooke Hogan introduces herself to the Knockouts. She says they are beautiful and says thank you for letting her work with them. She is making a four-way match tonight with Mickie James, Velvet Sky, Miss Tessmacher, and Tara to determine the #1 contender. She is giving Velvet the first opportunity outside of wrestling. She chooses Velvet to be in the new Montgomery Gentry video. Mickie James doesn’t look too pleased. They all hug.

“Hi guys I’m Brooke, and let’s not think about the fact that I have no talent and make far more money than you………I really am just like my dad aren’t I.”

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. He says it’s the 10 year anniversary for TNA. The crowd chants “TNA.” He says the party is going through the PPV to next week’s show. Next week there will be a World Title match no matter who the champ is. World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode’s music hits.

He comes to the ring and says he has a great idea. He tells Hogan to shut his mouth and show him the proper respect. He talks about all that Hogan has put him through recently. Hogan keeps trying to interject but Roode keeps telling him he’s not done yet. He days Hogan is jealous of him and even in his prime he couldn’t lace Roode’s boots. He grabs Hogan by the shirt and tells him to get out of his ring.

I’m still relevant dammit!!! Don’t make me drop the leg!!!

Sting’s music hits and he comes to the ring. Roode immediately attacks him and turns around to face Hogan but Sting gets up behind him and beats down Roode. Roode escapes up the ramp.

#1 Contender’s Four-Way Match for the Knockout’s Championship: Mickie James vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara vs. Velvet Sky

All four women go at it. Tara and Tessmacher get knocked out of the ring. Gail Kim comes out on the stage to watch.

Mickie and Velvet mix it up in the ring. Gail Kim has joined commentary. She says she doesn’t care who she faces because she has beaten all of them. Mickie gets a near fall on Tessmacher. Velvet comes in and breaks a pin. She throws Tessmacher out of the ring. Tara comes in and tries to steal a pin on Velvet. Gail encourages fans to tweet questions to her. Tara dominates Velvet in the ring. She applies a Boston Crab as Mickie comes in and puts her in a headlock and Tessmacher applies a headlock on Mickie. Taz calls it one giant hot octopus.

If there is one thing TNA has over the WWE, it’s their women’s division. The Knockouts are true wrestlers and in-ring performers. You’d NEVER see anything like this from the WWE Divas.

Velvet gets a near fall on Tara. Mickie and Velvet go at it in the ring. Mickie hits a faceplant. Tara comes in and throws Mickie out. She tries a moonsault off the top but Velvet moves. Tara gets up slowly and Tessmacher challenges her but Tara overpowers her. Tara hits a side slam. Velvet hits a DDT on Tara. Mickie comes off the top with a Lou Thesz Press on Velvet and hits a Spinning Superkick. Tessmacher comes up from behind and hits a “Tess-Shocker” on Mickie and gets the win.

winner by pinfall and the new #1 contender for the Knockouts Championship: Miss Tessmacher

Gail applauds her from the booth.

Bully Ray is backstage. He has a new contract for Park to sign for their match at Slammiversary X.

They recap the Dixie situation again.

Hogan is on the phone with A.J, and he doesn’t care about his personal problems. He tells him to get here for his match and calls him a son of a bitch.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring and he introduces Bully Ray and Joseph Park for their contract signing. Bully comes out first to a sea of boo’s. He asks if we know who he is and he gets in Borash’s face. Park comes out to no music. He is getting better at getting in the ring. The crowd wants tables.

Bully Ray = The Next TNA World Heavyweight Champion (at least he should be)

Bully rips the contract in Parks face and produces a new one. He says they are not having a standard wrestling match. The contract relieves him of all liability. Bully signs the contract and shoves it in Park’s chest. Park tries to look it over and Bully tells him to just sign it. Park says he’s never been in a fight and he’s just an attorney. He refuses to sign it and throws the contract down. Bully extends his hand and forces Park to shake it and he spits in his face and asks ‘what about now?’

Park wipes away the spit and says Abyss gave his life to TNA for the last 10 years. He says how dare Bully desecrate his legacy. He says he’ll do it but he’s doing it for his brother. He goes to sign the contract.

Pyro hits and Abyss appears on the screen. Abyss says he warned Park to step away from the fire and now it’s too late. Park says he was doing it to help him. Abyss says he doesn’t need his help. He asks Bully if he looks dead to him. They will both find out how alive he is at Slammiversary. Bully hits a cheap shot on Park from behind and lays him out. Bully leaves.

Garett Bischoff approaches Devon in the locker room. He wants to watch his back tonight. Devon says he really likes him and he has heart. Devon says he will be honored to have him in his corner.

Television Championship Match: Devon (with Garett Bischoff) vs. Robbie E. (with Robbie T.)

Robbie E. attacks Devon immediately. Devon fights back out of the corner but is knocked down. Madison Rayne is watching from the stage. Robbie makes a pin attempt for 2. Robbie hits an elbow for another 2. He whips Devon in and Devon hits a spear and a flurry of intense offense. Robbie T. takes Devon’s legs out from under him from outside the ring. Devon makes a small package in the ring as the ref restrains Garett. Robbie T. goes in the ring and reverses it with Robbie E. on top. The ref goes to restrain Robbie T. off the apron as Garett goes in the ring and reverses it back. The ref makes the count.

Booker T – “Devon man, I like you dog, but don’t be stealin’ my Book End!!! I’m not gonna put ya in my Fave Five if ya do dog.”

winner by pinfall and still Television Champion: Devon

Robbie T. comes up from behind and takes out both men. Garett and Devon fight them off and out of the ring.

Hogan is in the ring as we see a video of his encounter with Roode from earlier. He says he was rudely interrupted earlier. Mr. Anderson’s music hits and his mic lowers on the stage as he introduces himself. He comes to the ring. We get an a-hole chant from the crowd and Anderson thanks them. They edited the first a-hole bomb Anderson dropped from the stage but not the other several ones that he and Hogan keep dropping.

Anderson says he thinks what Hogan was about to say is that he gets the title shot next week. Hogan calls RVD to the ring. RVD’s music hits and he comes to the ring. Hogan calls Jeff Hardy out too. Hardy comes out with face paint and a shirt and tie.

Hogan makes a 3-way at Slammiversary between the 3 men and the winner will get a title shot the following Thursday on Impact.

World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode and Tag Team Champions Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs. Sting, A.J. Styles, and Kurt Angle

A.J. fails to appear when his music hits and they go to Sting’s entrance. Kaz & Daniels attack Sting and Angle but get put in the Scorpion Deathlock and the Ankle Lock as Roode watches from ringside.

Daniels takes it to Sting in the ring. Sting gets triple teamed as the ref restrains Angle. Kazarian tags in and continues to dominate Sting’s lifeless body. Roode tags in and drops a big knee across Sting’s throat. Sting fights back and misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. Both men struggle to get up. Daniels runs across the ring and takes out Angle before Sting can make the tag. All three men stomp Sting in the middle of the ring. Roode applies the crossface.

Very few men can do a suplex better than Kurt Angle. Just pure excellence. Oh it’s true…it’s damn true.

A.J. hops the guardrail and runs in to even the odds. He chases Daniels outside the ring. Angle takes it to Kazarian and hits a belly-to-belly, tossing Kaz out of the ring. AJ hits a Pele to Daniels and he goes out of the ring. AJ leaps over the top with a Senton and takes out Kazarian, Daniels, and Angle too. Sting applies the Scorpion Deathlock on Roode and he taps.

winner by submission: Sting, A.J. Styles, and Kurt Angle

Sting raises the championship over his head and throws it to Roode as Roode rolls out of the ring.

Well, I hope this was insightful into the world of TNA Impact Wrestling.  Remember……WRESTLING MATTERS HERE……unless they are on the mic for insane amounts of time!!!  I’ll be back next week!!!

~ by Matt Whitfield on June 11, 2012.

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