Off the Top Rope: WWE RAW Recap 6/18/12

After another action-packed WWE PPV event, I’m sure it’s safe to assume the titles have changed, and the whole landscape of the company has changed. No… not really. ‘No Way Out’ was extremely disappointing to say the least, and the only thing that’s different is the fact that we are now going to be living a Big Johnny-less universe. But what happened last night, just 24 hours after ‘No Way Out’? Let’s take a look.

MICK FOLEY RETURNS!

Hardcore legend Mick Foley kicked things off by announcing that he will be handling the General Manager responsibilities until a more permanent replacement can be found. He wasted no time in doing his job, booking champs CM Punk and Sheamus in a tag match against Daniel Bryan and Kane. He then informed the audience that newly unemployed John Laurinaitis would be delivering his farewell address. The former GM hobbled to the stage, and couldn’t get a word out do to the overwhelming chants of “You Got Fired!”. In his last act of defiance, Big John booked himself in a handicap where he would team up with Big Show and David Otunga to take John Cena down once and for all.

CM PUNK/SHEAMUS vs. DANIEL BRYAN/KANE

The previously mentioned tag match was the first of the night. It was basically a re-hash of the same match we saw these four in last week, the only change coming in how AJ distracted Kane. This time she came skipping out to the ring dressed in Kane-inspired attire complete with mask. This was enough for Kane to once again abandon Bryan, leaving him to be slaughtered by the two champs. WINNERS: CM PUNK/ SHEAMUS

Aww… Isn’t she an adorable little minion of Hell?

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. JACK SWAGGER

After a heated debate between the two, manager Vickie Guerrero has decided to end the feud once and for all. She puts them in a match to determine which superstar will no longer have her in their corner. Ziggler was impressive again, getting the pin on Swagger. The rumor in the wrestling world is that legend Ric Flair is coming back to the WWE to play a mentor role for Ziggler. How is this going to play into the Vickie Guerrero situation? More as the story develops. WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER

TEAM LESNAR RESPONDS TO TRIPLE H’s CHALLENGE

Paul Heyman came down to address Triple H’s proposal to a match between he and Brock Lesnar at Summerslam. Speaking for Lesnar, Heyman flat out rejected the offer, stating that neither he nor Lesnar are going to drop their lawsuits against the COO. Triple H came down to the ring, upset that Brock Lesnar wasn’t present to make these remarks himself. He went on to tell Heyman that if Lesnar doesn’t accept the Summerslam challenge, then the WWE attorneys are going to have a field day with both Lesnar and Heyman. Heyman went on to antagonize the cerebral assassin in hopes of tricking him into physically attacking him yet again. Though The Game showed restraint at first, the mention of his wife Stephanie McMahon resulted in a large right hand delivered to the head of Paul Heyman. I guess the ball is in Lesnar’s court now.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. SANTINO MARELLA

Another squash match! But this time it involves Alberto Del Rio. And who is the jobber? The United States fucking champion Santino Marella. This whole story confuses me. It’s insulting to see a champion in a squash match. It’s even more insulting to see a champion be the jobber! If you are going to continue to make Santino the clown prince of the WWE, then take the damn belt away from him. It’s really embarrassing to say the least. WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO

Musician Cyndi Lauper made her triumphant return to the squared circle after a very long absence. In tow was Hall of Famer Wendi Richter, who Lauper backed during the “Rock and Wrestling” Era. Before they could get the show on the road, however, the ladies were interrupted by none other than Heath “The Voice of Reason” Slater. The One Man Rock Band criticized Lauper’s singing talent before debuting an impromptu vocal performance of his own. He was then interrupted by the legendary Roddy Piper, a man who a long-time feud with the pop star. They buried the hatchet in the ring, and Piper presented Lauper with a framed gold record (to replace the one that he smashed over Lou Albano’s head almost 30 years ago). Slater, fed up with the shenanigans, and continued his song. Piper proceeded to poke Slater in the eyes, and Lauper then smashed the framed gold record over the head of Slater (which made him bleed). All in good fun I suppose. WINNER(?): CYNDI LAUPER

Girls just wanna commit assault and battery.

EPICO AND PRIMO vs. PRIME TIME PLAYERS

After abandoning Epico and Primo at ‘No Way Out’, A.W emerged as the new manager of The Prime Time Players. Not much else happened in this match, and it ended with AW instructing his new acquisitions to leave the ring. Hopefully WWE creative gives Young and O’Neil a fair shake, because I like their gimmick. WINNERS: EPICO AND PRIMO via COUNT OUT

JOHN LAURINAITIS/BIG SHOW/OTUNGA vs. JOHN CENA

It didn’t take long for Big Show to decide that his role in the story was no longer important, so he walked away from the match before Cena even came down the ramp. So now we are down to two . Cena makes quick work of Otunga, resulting in Otunga jumping ship as well. Mr. Laurinaitis is the only man standing against a fired up John Cena. Several “Attitude Adjustments” and an “STFU” later, the era known as “People Power” has officially come to an end. Will we see the former “Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and General Manager of both RAW and Smackdown” again? Who knows. But we would like to wish him well in all of his future endeavors! WINNER: JOHN CENA

Come back next Tuesday for my weekly RAW recap, in which I will be discussing the return of Chris Jericho! This is ‘Off the Top Rope’ tapping out for now!

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~ by Brandon Gnuschke on June 19, 2012.

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